![]() ![]() ‘I really, really hate you.’ Call me sensitive, but I couldn’t help taking it personally.” While she does, on occasion, single Sedaris out for lavish praise - “Bravo,” she once shouts, taking his hand and holding it up high, when he correctly answers a trick question about the passé composé - she also displays a penchant for hurling insults as well as pieces of chalk at her students, and she makes more than one declaration of hatred. ![]() She even breaks the classroom’s French-only rule in order to chastise Sedaris all the more harshly: “‘I hate you,’ she said to me one afternoon. It gives a starring role to his fearsome instructor, a fount of pronouncements translating to “You exhaust me with your foolishness and reward my efforts with nothing but pain” and “Every day spent with you is like having a cesarean section.” “My French teacher faxed Andy at Esquire saying my article has had the effect of a bomb at the Alliance Française.” That piece, which became the title essay of Sedaris’s 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day, tells of the French classes he took at that cultural institution’s Paris headquarters. “THE INEVITABLE finally happened,” writes David Sedaris in his diary entry of April 6, 1999. ![]()
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